Family and anger

No those are not the two things that I am associating but rather I have family up for the weekend and that will be interesting. But I am finding that I have a real problem lately with my anger issue. I mean I am in control of it but that I am getting waaay too angry at things when I shouldn't be needing to. I don't know about that but I just want something good to happen. I know that we have to look for the little things that happen in life and those are the things that are most important to us all but at the same time I really wish that I could have something big and unexpected happen. But then again if I am waiting for them all the time then it never will. I guess that I am just dearing myself to be alone for the rest of my life. I really don't think that anyone else will havev me or rather deserves the torture of having me the rest of their lives. But alas I am finding that helping people is again the bane and savior of my existence. I am able to lose all of my problems in those peoples lives. But it adds more stress. Alas who knows. But I miss everyone that is away right now soooo much. Honestly lately it feels like I have no friends here, though I know that is true it is more that I am honestly afraid to let them get close, or they really don't want to. Who knows.