Not That Anyone Will Catch This. . .

So this time it is just a question, not that I don't have my own answers but rather I just wanted to know a little about everyone else's. What is Christmas? And to cut the smart a$$e$ to the punchline I know the literal meaning. What I am wondering is everyone's meaning at heart. Is there something different for everyone or is it the same regurgitation that we all hear. What is Christmas to you?

I Swear That I Am Talking to Myself!!!!

Well life gets more and more interesting. Alot of work to do before the semester ends, but then again that is no big news for me. I may groan but I'll get it done. Thanksgiving omes again and I hope that everyone gets big and fat. ;) Work moves on and so does the world. Though I would like to say thanks again to Topher, you know what I'm talking about. we should play right now, right now, not later, later. By the by I would recommend the new Dave CD to all. Yeah I know its been out for a while but I can't seem to stop listening to it. its super funky ;). The fact remains that I think that I am losing my mind more and more. Laughing for no real reason is a sign right? But I miss all of you. Seems that I don't see anyone nearly enough, or as much as I like. Not enough hours in the day it seems. Like Sat., woke up did some homework, got clean, watched a movie with topher (yeah that was a good movie, and I was wrong, there it is in writing for you all, Madagascar is worth it) and it was midnight. Yes yes i know that i wake up later than everyone else, but dag nab it, i am up way later too. Battling the snow and dark is a little interesting again. Though for sure having a garage beats not having one. Big Guy and Baby Girl miss everyone too. I think that they are meowing wanting for Crytal to respond. Ah well, too bad for them right? Soon enough, maybe I should bring them when I go down to Juneau again? Though I think that between the three of us we would eat Kolt and Crystal out of house and home. It was nice to see my Aunt Laurie again. I am simply awed by her prescence. I want to know how it is that she does that. But keep your chins up everyone, the home strech is here. WE PITY THE FOOL WHO DON'T THINK WE WILL MAKE IT!!!!!!

WAY TO GO TOPHER!!!!!!

Hey for those of you who don't know Topher's show debuted this last Mon. There was an excellent turnout, lots of good food provided by the Topher Family, good wine provided by the Topher Roomate Family, and excellent entertainment provided by the Topher himself. Though it has been in coming, it was worth it. WE ARE ALL PROUD OF YOU TOPHER!!! WAY TO GO!!!

Right now it has been wicked cool. Kolt and Crystal have been here for four days and everything has been. . . interesting. A lot more work than I thought but all in all it has been most satisfying to have them here. And even better news is that they are going to be coming back in Aug. or Sept. Sweetness. Crystal's Birthday on Nov. 13th too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRYSTAL!!!

Steve is in town right now. For those that don't know Steve is Sam's fiancee. I am really happy to know that he is out of harm's way for awhile. Good guy and he makes her happy. That's what is important.

I hope that everyone else is doing good. Life for me has been hectic, though not really bad. Just a little tyring. Make sure that everyone you know gets a hug today if you read this.

later days~b

What is wrong. . .

Well November is almost upon us. For some reason I find myself in an interesting moods of sorts. There is so much going on right now but I find that I am more and more alone. Though I don't want to be either. School is something that I am having a hard time with, not that the work is too hard but rather that I am having a hard time caring about it. With the exception of my digital photography class I am disliking all of the others. Though I do understand how important these are but I am having a hard time in doing this. Also I am having so much trouble it seems in understanding people and guarding my heart against being so sensitive. I don't know what to do about things in life right now. Its like I am floating in a sea of nothingness with my shadow lover courting me. Though she hasn't wooed me yet it seems to be harder and harder everyday to refuse her. I think that it is simply duty that stops me from accepting. But I guess that it seems hard to think that life is simply duty. I mean there are other things that I do feel but it seems that with the onset of winter these feelings get harder to banish. Who knows I guess. Though I hope that everyone is having a great life and I hope that all wishes are coming true.

new links, try them out, you know that you want to

Hey hey, alright this is something that i am asking everyone visiting to do. i am currently in the process of creating some new links to sites for everyone to participate in. these are sites for people to rant and rave about the given topic. i am going to change the topic every so often, at least once a week. trust me your opinions matter!!! later days~b

downtown

downtown
Originally uploaded by hysbyrd.

Again I really liked this particular filter. This almost gives the whole broadway paintings look to it.

Sam

Sam
Originally uploaded by hysbyrd.

I really liked this picture. It has an innocent quality about it. Although I may not survive long if she sees it. But come on you have to admit that she looks good in this.

LaceyStreet

LaceyStreet
Originally uploaded by hysbyrd.

Again playing around some more. Who likes this picture? come on let me know.

Jayden

Jayden
Originally uploaded by hysbyrd.

Hows about this pic now. Almost becoming my favorite subject now.

It's Jayden

DSC00057
Originally uploaded by hysbyrd.

As promised to Alisa here is Jayden. She wanted to see her little bambino on the net. Don't let the cuteness fool you, truly a tornado of destruction, just ask the cats!!!!!!!! ;)

The Baby Girl

DSC00061
Originally uploaded by hysbyrd.

Ok she was pissed at not being on the net as well. She wasn't talking to me or anything so without further ado. . . the coming of. . . the Baby Girl!!!

Big Guy Talks Alot

DSC00052
Originally uploaded by hysbyrd.

Alright so we are trying out this pic posting. Big Guy insisted to be the first to show himself to the world as you can see ;)

So Long With No Post... And The Sun Still Rises

Well it has been a long time since I have posted anything, sorry about taking so long. Things have been different lately. Alot of working has happened over the summer. And learning. It's funny but if you would have asked me three years ago if I knew myself I would have said sure I know myself. But as time rolls on I find that I am learning more about myself. I once new that from a philosophical standpoint that life was not black and white and that the world is truly in shades of gray. It seems even more interesting that I live that now. I guess that I can almost understand the perspective that friendship is one of the most important things that someone can experience. I mean that while I may not agree with the actions that my friends take that doesn't mean that I should exclude them from my life. Its funny that as I can say that I truly find myself alone. However, for the better part of that I mean that in a physical sense. There are those out there that I can truly feel that care, and I understand that no matter how far apart we may get that they will care. Its that sense of having faith in others that I have lacked. Interesting enough I guess that the "wise" Brandon has been having to learn his own lessons over again. But now I am in class and hopefully everything will work out.

New Leaves

Alright, new season, new leaves are turning, and in many many ways a whole new Brandon and life. Things have been wicked busy, and though tired I am really liking a lot of turns that my life is taking. Getting into a new place that is super nice, though everyone only has my word along with Topher's about it, is going to be great!!! I mean there is going to be memories that I am going to miss, after all I lived with Sarah for like three years, but it is time to move on. I am really super excited for everyone for all of the accomplishments that they have achieved recently, and I am so proud of you graduates that words cannot describe. And believe it or not, I am kinda looking forward to my birthday. I mean for years I have disliked my birthday, but something tells me that this year is gonna be different. So with a open heart and mind I am going to embrace this year. Ahh, life has had its ups and downs but overall I think that this year has come out on top. I have reestablished old and close friends, made new ones, have had great experiences (Thank you Siren, no has ever done such wonderful things for me), and truly with the fact that I am so close to finally stoping the habits that are killing me, I finally feel that I can truly embrace life, and after all that is what it is all about.

I Love You All,
Brandon

Dark Ponderings

Well life is still interesting. I think that it is time for me to stop this blog. Its just time for me to stop alot of things as well. I guess that sounds a little darker than I intend it to be. I guess that I should stop being selfish and live in reality. I have to realize that life will be life and I guess that I just need to stop grasping for it. I mean I want somethings in life so badly, but is it going to happen? Who knows, but one thing is true, I cannot allow my happiness to hurt others. I guess that means that being who I am is not enough for people, or rather not enough for life. melodramatic i know but i guess that i just feel that it is the truth. So for a last entry this is for Everyone,

May Love and Happiness,
Guide You,
And Enfold You In Its Wings,
To Be Strength When There Is None
And Lift You Up
To The Dreams You Desire.

Brandon P. Moore

Late Night Ponderings

Well its 4 in the morning now and still up with no signs of sleep coming soon. What to do? Aha write something that hopefully will make some sense I guess. I have found life to be interesting lately. It seems like everyone is starting to show some signs of happiness and truly that is all that I can ask for. I founad out some interesting information though, Stebbie has the potential of coming to live in Alaska!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For those of you who do not know of Stebbie well the bottom line is that she is just one of the most amazing people in existence. She is my cousin though I was raised thinking of her as my aunt and is one of the people in this world who has a very deep understanding of me. Now don't get mad right yet, I'm sure that most of you have a time when you have been confused by me. I really hope that she does make it. It would be nice to have family a little closer than they are. I find myself learning patience all over again though this time it seems to be a different patience. Pondering what it is that life is truly all about. Realizing that what life is all about is truly open to the perceptions of the person pondering it. I mean I think that right now I actually have alot of priorities in my life. But the one that I am talking about right now is that of helping people. I really want to help everyone I know find happiness in their lives. Sometimes I feel that I actually achieve something with this, you know that feeling that I actually have helped someone on the path to their happiness. Other times I feel like I fail and that is a hard thing for me to feel. I feel in other regards like people don't even listen to me. Its not that I want to control anyone but rather that I KNOW sometimes what it is that I am talking about and because I care that I say those things. I am dealing with the problem as well of confronting things that I cannot believe are coming into play again. If there is one thing that I cannot stand about dealing with people is that I cannot stand people guilting others to get what they desire. I don't want people to not achieve what they desire in their hearts but there is a right and wrong about it. I guess that there is alot of things that have been on my mind though, but I just want happiness for everyone.

Scairt nóiméad
(Translation to English from Irish "Shout out time")
Stebbie- I really hope that you make it to Fairbanks. I really miss you and love you so much
Sam- Thank you for being you. I wish that "evil" talk could include me (shocking I know) but thank you for just being you, its why I love you too.
Topher- What to say, save you can graduate just put your mind to it.
Dad- I am really proud of everything that you have accomplished thus far with school.
Sarah- I really hope that you find your desires in life.
Kate- tusa aici mo croí, mise grá tú. Nothing more really needs to be said but thank you.

Happy Valentine's Day

Hey Everyone,

I just thought that I would post to say that I hope that everyone is having a good day. I love the lot of ya and I wanted to let you know.

Shout out
Sarah- Well this is the first time apart. But I feel that we have grow together and apart through this time. I love you so much and in what sense who knows.
Sam- I really appreciate you coming to work and bringing me all of the goodies. I will treasure them always. You still amaze me and I do love you, even though you are "evil."
Kate- Ya know there are no real words to describe so I know that you know what I mean to say. Both California or Hawaii sound good.
Topher- You deserve the best in the universe for being the man that you are. I am proud of my new "younger Bro."
Mom and Dad- Love the both of you. Thank you for being there for me.
Grandma- I love you and your opinions. Never be afraid to share them with me they help to clarify things.


Later Days~b

Ahh Life How . . . Interesting

Well life is taking an interesting turn in many ways. It seems that everyone is almost opposed to being happy at all this semester. That makes me very sad to tell the truth. All that I want truly is for people to be happy yet everyone seems to strive for that unhappiness. Don't these people know that I have the monopoly in that area. No seriously though it really worrys me and I hope that people will overcome it. On a happy note though tomarrow is the 21st for the Littlest Elder sister, that's right Sarah!!! Ahh fun. More and more seems to slip away and chaos begins to reign. Its just that I am scared for alot of people. Confusion seems to be getting too much of a hold on people. Life is just too short for all of this. Clarity and honesty needs to be our weapons, tempered with love. It seems that everyone is too serious. Learn that laughter is truly the best medicine for everything. I know how hypocritical of me. But it takes even me (laughter) years to produce the reactions that I know. I just simply need a companion. You know someone to share everything with but not actually deal with the commitment other than that of love. Its kinda hard to explain but I hope that everyone will understand.

Later Days~b

none this week I have told you all in person what is important.

Ramblings on at work

Well I am here at work and feeling glad that my weekend is here. It seems like although I am in a good mood my heart is a little heavy. I just hope that everyone is happy and remember if there is something that I can do to help I will. I guess that I don't have much in the way of thoughts for today though as I am extremely tired from work. Everything seemed to break tonight with a big event too, agh.

Shout out to everyone-
You are all special and I love you all.

Later Days~b

This is for Sarah

Time to get down to the gritty. I guess that I have never put this in simply because I never thought that Sarah would actually read my blog. But alas I was wrong. Sorry Sarah. But now to write to the world about the wonder that is Sarah. For those who do not know who Sarah is . . . well join the club (just kidding). Sarah has been one of the cornerstones of my life for the past close to three years. We were together for much of that time period, and yes together means boyfriend and girlfriend. We met at the WC and started dating fairly shortly after that. We moved into an apartment together after having some "problems" with my previous roomates. I think that it was during this time that I was probably the happiest that I have ever been, truth. We had to move to Yak Estates and it was there that we drifted apart. However, we are not together in the boy- girlfriend way right now. This was a hard time to go through, and we have both changed greatly since then, but the fact that she is there for me almost seems to be a universal truth. Granted we don't always see eye to eye and alot of you may think us like oil and water and in fact you are right in some regards it might be better to see us as two sides of one coin. We complement each other as people. She excels at many different fields and where she leaves off I ususally begin. Thus she means more to me than I can really aptly describe. What bond we have is something that I do not even know how to describe because there really are no words to describe them. All that I do know is that life would be extremely different without her in my life. Mostly bad. It seems that I go through alot that she has been the only one who wants to help with it. Now I don't mean to hurt anyone with this because you all help me when I need it, but imagine having to do it all of the time. This is the one of the many factors of Sarah's life. Now I will be the first one to say that she is different, but then again so am I, just in different ways. And truly it is these differences of hers that I am always interested in. Its the spice of life. Who knows what is between us but what I do know is that I would not be the person I am without her, and I would not like to find out who I would be either. I mean we have pretty much been everything that two people can be to each other save the mother/son and father/daughter relationships though some times its close (hahahahaha). But all in all I just wanted everyone to be able to read about her and for her to know that it was never because she wasn't important that she was not in here before but rather because I didn't think that she would ever read this.

No shouts for anyone on this post, its just for Sarah

More Thoughts and Ramblings. . .

I often wonder about people and the decisions that we make. I mean it seems as though everyone could only make the decisions that they do based upon the experiences that we have growing up. I have another thought to that as it also seems that who we are going or want to be also seems to take a part in that as well. Most of you know my main goal in life and for those of you who do not I guess that I should tell you. The only thing that I would like to be in this lifetime is a father and husband to someone that I love desperately. Everything else seems to just be a faucet of that goal. It seems that all of the decisions that I reach are based upon that goal. But at the same time most of the thoughts and decisions that I reach are not in my best interest. Now that may sound a little self-destructive and in some regards you are right, but the truth lies in other people's best interest. I stop to think about the whole of my life and I realize that for most of my life I have lived what it is that everyone else would like me to be. The good grades for all of these years have been for my parents, though yes I realize that they are important and yet limited. Like getting the great grades throughout high school to get into a good college. I mean I was Ivy accepted. But the realization that there was no way that I would be able to afford it was also a slap in the face. But I digress, the fact is that it seems that everyone has to learn from experience. Or in reality that is simply the nice name for it. The truth is that pain seems to be the only real teacher. I look at the lives of people who come to me with problems and realize that I could simply tell them what they should do as I see it to correct their lives but in reality no one would pay attention. These people's lives need to be lived out with the mistakes that they are going to make. Sorry but it just feels that I am many, many years older than I actually am. I think about what I should be worried about and really I don't see them as obstacles merely speed bumps. I just see everyone so upset and hurt and worried and I wish that there was something that I could do to be able to make them feel better. I know that was an overplayed line but it really is the truth. I just see so much pain and potential disaster that I hope that people will see it as well. I feel like I am being torn apart as well. I mean that every decision that I have had to make about life has been devode of a silver lining, or at least for me. Ah well, I guess that I just wish that I could have that one special love though knowing what a difficult guy I can be to simply live with... lets just hope that she is patient.

All right it is "shout out time"
Topher- All work and no play makes Topher a dull boy. Your work is always top of the line, so perfection can be toned down a bit. Make time for you and your special person in life.
Stebbie- I am so proud to have you in my life and to share our family. I really look up to you in that you show no fear or guilt in living your life your way. Your "Little" Bp is really proud of you.
Dad-You amaze me in that I doubt that at your "youthful" years I could do what you are. You have the all the help and tools that you will need to succeed, do not be too proud to use them.
Mom- You have been so many people's keystone to hold their lives together. And though some may not have turned out like you expected they have followed their dreams and that is what is important. Remember though, You taught them that. Be proud of yourself.
Kate- Take the time, seize the time, plan the time, to live a little everyday to enjoy all that is around you now so you can carry that into the future.
Last but definitely not least Sam- You are yourself and that is what people want to see in you. Don't ever lose the faith that you are special to people, you are to me for just being yourself. You have shown that your capacity to care makes you a rare person who needs to be treasured.

And for anyone else,
"The light at the end of the tunnel may just be You."

Later Days~b

Sorry

Hey sorry about taking so long to create a new post. Everything just got massively hectic. So here is the review cap for the last month. . .

First was finals and that was completly crazy. I had way to much, way too quick. And drama started.

Then I left for vacation to Kona. This was something that I needed so much. Being able to be away from all of the drama and to let myself think and feel again. This was a crucial step in saving Brandon's sanity. I got to heal and spend some quality time with my family and relax. I actually was dreading coming back to town.

I got back with like two weeks left of break and I spent most of that time taking care of the loose threads that I left when I went on vacation.

But now I am back and granted that was a massively abbreviated account of the last month but I guess that most of what happened involved other people and their lives and I don't want to have something here that they would not want.

Now however, school is back in session. I have seven classes that I am taking and all of them were a little more than I barganed for so we will see. I have more and more drama starting daily, but I think that I can handle it. We will see. This is especial for Kate though, Thank You for being the strength for the weak and the light at the end of the tunnel. Topher, you are the tree that holds everything together. Mom and Dad, for teaching me to remember. However, Sam if you ever read this remember how special you truly are.