More Thoughts and Ramblings. . .

I often wonder about people and the decisions that we make. I mean it seems as though everyone could only make the decisions that they do based upon the experiences that we have growing up. I have another thought to that as it also seems that who we are going or want to be also seems to take a part in that as well. Most of you know my main goal in life and for those of you who do not I guess that I should tell you. The only thing that I would like to be in this lifetime is a father and husband to someone that I love desperately. Everything else seems to just be a faucet of that goal. It seems that all of the decisions that I reach are based upon that goal. But at the same time most of the thoughts and decisions that I reach are not in my best interest. Now that may sound a little self-destructive and in some regards you are right, but the truth lies in other people's best interest. I stop to think about the whole of my life and I realize that for most of my life I have lived what it is that everyone else would like me to be. The good grades for all of these years have been for my parents, though yes I realize that they are important and yet limited. Like getting the great grades throughout high school to get into a good college. I mean I was Ivy accepted. But the realization that there was no way that I would be able to afford it was also a slap in the face. But I digress, the fact is that it seems that everyone has to learn from experience. Or in reality that is simply the nice name for it. The truth is that pain seems to be the only real teacher. I look at the lives of people who come to me with problems and realize that I could simply tell them what they should do as I see it to correct their lives but in reality no one would pay attention. These people's lives need to be lived out with the mistakes that they are going to make. Sorry but it just feels that I am many, many years older than I actually am. I think about what I should be worried about and really I don't see them as obstacles merely speed bumps. I just see everyone so upset and hurt and worried and I wish that there was something that I could do to be able to make them feel better. I know that was an overplayed line but it really is the truth. I just see so much pain and potential disaster that I hope that people will see it as well. I feel like I am being torn apart as well. I mean that every decision that I have had to make about life has been devode of a silver lining, or at least for me. Ah well, I guess that I just wish that I could have that one special love though knowing what a difficult guy I can be to simply live with... lets just hope that she is patient.

All right it is "shout out time"
Topher- All work and no play makes Topher a dull boy. Your work is always top of the line, so perfection can be toned down a bit. Make time for you and your special person in life.
Stebbie- I am so proud to have you in my life and to share our family. I really look up to you in that you show no fear or guilt in living your life your way. Your "Little" Bp is really proud of you.
Dad-You amaze me in that I doubt that at your "youthful" years I could do what you are. You have the all the help and tools that you will need to succeed, do not be too proud to use them.
Mom- You have been so many people's keystone to hold their lives together. And though some may not have turned out like you expected they have followed their dreams and that is what is important. Remember though, You taught them that. Be proud of yourself.
Kate- Take the time, seize the time, plan the time, to live a little everyday to enjoy all that is around you now so you can carry that into the future.
Last but definitely not least Sam- You are yourself and that is what people want to see in you. Don't ever lose the faith that you are special to people, you are to me for just being yourself. You have shown that your capacity to care makes you a rare person who needs to be treasured.

And for anyone else,
"The light at the end of the tunnel may just be You."

Later Days~b